Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Having Kids.

Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

Aside from the obvious, BluBrryNyamNyam and I had no idea what having kids meant.

Would anyone do anything worthwhile if they really, really thought about it first? 🤷🏻‍♀️

So after 9 years of parenting, here are some realisations:

  • When Nonsense #1 was about one. It occured to me, to my horror, that my parents had no idea what they were doing when I was a kid. Nor does any other parent.
  • If you didn’t like the gruelling early mornings of school as a child, this is your chance to do that all over again for another 12 years. It comes with homework too!
  • Would you like a little person to hold a mirror up to everything you hate about yourself? Someone with your DNA, likely to look like you too.
  • It’s great motivation to improve yourself and try to be a good human being. I call my kids my two Growth Experiences.
  • Sleep Training — this helps your child sleep from 7pm to 7am daily from 4-months old. Plus day time naps. Really. This ends when they can climb out of the cot. But by then they‘re used to sleeping well. Giving you some space and time.
Drawing is by Nonsense #1, of me.
Drawing is by Nonsense #1 of me.
  • It’s our job to keep these loud-mouthed, know-it-alls alive. But you’ll be surprised that they have no reflex to keep themselves safe and generally functioning. You end up begging them to eat, poop, sleep, bathe, get out of the bath, put on clothes, take off clothes and so on.
  • I don’t think there is such a thing as a good parent. I’m not a terrible parent. Good is not attainable.
  • Be prepared to meet fear. Big love is big risk, baby. In this violent world of corruption and climate change. No one is spared. At the same time, you will find that it really does take a village. Find your village, move in. Ideally next door.
  • A few years will feel dominated by laundry, bowel movements, snacks, meals, sleep-time, school, playdates. It's repetitive. It‘s boring. Schedule in the joy.
  • So much of our beautiful relationship is consumed by logistics, plans, schedules, budgets. You have to find each other through all this crap.
  • You are the only authority on your own children. You’ll get the hang of it in a few days. Really.

Having said that, I will never know the regret of not having children. For some, I‘m sure it is a sorrowful what if.



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Truth-Speaker with occassional Foot-In-Mouth Disease. Sometimes Sexy Beast. Sometimes Asian Aunty. Gen-X. Woman. In Berlin.